i need to know
today is one of the worst days. yesterday was worse. but today is worser.
yet again, a day. a saturday. a weekend. allow me.
i'm now tired. physically and mentally. i guess everyone would be able to see this. everyone.
i went for this particular dinner which i think of as nothing until it turn out to be actually a buddhist gathering meal. every believer. both female and male. all races i can see. is there. all bowing, kneeling and their palms together in worship. i did the same. merely just copying the actions. my dad, i think he wasn't sure what to do. but he acted like he knew. now i am convinced i am his son. totally.
before the dinner, there's this very long ceremony. lasted like one hour. where they requested everyone to held their palms together as they chant a protective curse as well as a blessing. like wow. everyone did that. some didn't. i guess some refers to me. i merely stared. one of the monk at the back. there was sixteen of them. one. fell aslp. i am sure. he was tapped on the shoulder.
then next? there's this confrontation session. or rather. meet-whichever-monk-you-want sesson. so. act like i know what to do. i followed my father. he brought me infront of this monk that look like a sixty old piece of crumpled skin being rolled on with ragged orange cloth.
he sprayed what i thought of was just plain water. and he started chanting. i was told to sit. so he looked relatively taller. great. he's thai. i need a translator before he starts to say those fucking freaking gibberish thai. and what do you know. my father was acting the translator. like wow. i'm so proud of having a dad that understands thai. but too bad. he's now allowed to be near me. so this guy. well dressed. clean looking. should be in his thirties came beside me. he sat down beside me like how a japanese would. and the chief monk took my hands. now i had to sit closer. looking at what i think to be a bull-dog. with spectacles.
terrific. the monk. he's the chief monk. the Lontar. sounds like it in thai. sorry if i got it wrong. but i'm infront of the monk with the greatest faith in the whole fucking temple. i gave him my name and birth date and he started mumbling what appears to me the worst thing i would ever want to hear.
the translator said:
" young man. you are now thinking of nothing. yet, your heart is filled with serious thoughts and frustrations, not willing to let people see and know, but i know."
he paused.
i thought. wow. how typical a start for a drama.
"you are trying to accomplish a mission. impossible mission. you are trying to please everyone around you. happy is what you want to see on their faces. your friends. your family. you want to please them all. you are greedy. you know you can't do that. but you can't bear to see either side to be sad with you or angry with you. you are selfish. you don't want people to be hurt by you. you know it yourself. in your heart. but your mind is the cause of whatever is causing you to be extremely unhappy. you want everybody to be pleased. you want everything to be what you actually expected."
i might just fall asleep. but it's actually grabbing my attention. getting my ears longer out to hear the specifics.
"on the scripts. this is not what life is about. you're unhappy because you know you have hurt everyone. yet you wanted everything to be as if everything has been through smoothly. you know. but you don't know the reason. the actual reason. everyone will blame you. this is your life. you are not to please people. you are to be blamed."
another pause. for a drink. both of them.
"you like to listen. you never like to talk. not when you don't feel the need"
the bull-dog sighs.
"that will make problems worse. when you talk. people are unhappy. when you don't. people are also unhappy."
he's trying to hint something. this is getting long.
"you should try to get the burden off. free yourself." he held tight of my hands and start chanting his thai shit. and then the water sprayed again. i was to leave. i was left speechless. he almost sounded like the oracle. i guess my father, too, heard something from his side of the monk. totally bizzared.
i was left thinking... during dinner... after dinner... on the way home... even now...
what is it?
i'm destined to be a monk?
i don't know? i don't want to know? don't feel like wanting to know?
or just couldn't be bothered.?
nah. better don't get myself into such things.
eerie.
hell no.
and i guess i will never be...
Friday, January 30, 2004
she reads:
My dearest,
if ever a man felt his spirit dissolve and meld into another's, it was when with you. why that should be so, i dare not say. this affair we have begun is disastrous for more reasons than i can even begin to emunerate. you have an entire life ahead, which i know that i have damaged irreparably. forgive me. maybe. do not forgive me. i cannot ask for forgiveness for that which i does not regret. and i cannot, as a man and as a lover, regret those precious moments i have been allowed to spend with you...
she drops the pages of the letter onto the floor. the rest was a total smudge. it must have been the heavy rain. she covers her face with the skirt of her dress. she releases her skirt. with an impatient tug, she unties her bonnet as she penned her reply...
and thinking, when will i ever be happy again...
My dearest,
if ever a man felt his spirit dissolve and meld into another's, it was when with you. why that should be so, i dare not say. this affair we have begun is disastrous for more reasons than i can even begin to emunerate. you have an entire life ahead, which i know that i have damaged irreparably. forgive me. maybe. do not forgive me. i cannot ask for forgiveness for that which i does not regret. and i cannot, as a man and as a lover, regret those precious moments i have been allowed to spend with you...
she drops the pages of the letter onto the floor. the rest was a total smudge. it must have been the heavy rain. she covers her face with the skirt of her dress. she releases her skirt. with an impatient tug, she unties her bonnet as she penned her reply...
and thinking, when will i ever be happy again...
unexplainable
haha. isn't it funny? you tell people that you are sick. they just won't believe you. haha. i don't know what's wrong.
heard my auntie and my mother talking. talkinga bout this man. he keeps everything to himself. he's twenty. and now he's crazy. he have so much frustration within him. and he always puts himself in other people's shoes. sounds kind of him. but now. he's crazy. he's in da hospital. no one go and see him. no one cares. sad? i don't know. but. one thing's for sure. those that had he had helped never did turn up. cool eh?
very impressed.
today is one of the worst days. yesterday was worse. but today is worser.
*vomit*
haiz.
it's all my fault.
yeah...
haha. isn't it funny? you tell people that you are sick. they just won't believe you. haha. i don't know what's wrong.
heard my auntie and my mother talking. talkinga bout this man. he keeps everything to himself. he's twenty. and now he's crazy. he have so much frustration within him. and he always puts himself in other people's shoes. sounds kind of him. but now. he's crazy. he's in da hospital. no one go and see him. no one cares. sad? i don't know. but. one thing's for sure. those that had he had helped never did turn up. cool eh?
very impressed.
today is one of the worst days. yesterday was worse. but today is worser.
*vomit*
haiz.
it's all my fault.
yeah...
Thursday, January 29, 2004
tears
At first we talked,
Got to know one another.
Had our laughs,
It didn't seem like any bother.
Then we became closer,
We had become much more.
Started spending time together,
The time that I adored.
From weeks to months,
We had made it past a year.
I thought we'd always be together,
Because you were my sweet dear.
Then one night i asked her,
The question I knew she'd hate.
I wanted to try something different,
By trying other people to date.
These words I could not bare,
They started shimmering slowly from her eyes.
I asked her opinion,
And I guess she could not lie.
I told her that I loved Her,
She repeated to Me the same.
What else could I say,
Because I think I was to blame.
it was just not meant to be,
so many tears.
the moonlight shone,
for all i can say is; i'm sorry.
At first we talked,
Got to know one another.
Had our laughs,
It didn't seem like any bother.
Then we became closer,
We had become much more.
Started spending time together,
The time that I adored.
From weeks to months,
We had made it past a year.
I thought we'd always be together,
Because you were my sweet dear.
Then one night i asked her,
The question I knew she'd hate.
I wanted to try something different,
By trying other people to date.
These words I could not bare,
They started shimmering slowly from her eyes.
I asked her opinion,
And I guess she could not lie.
I told her that I loved Her,
She repeated to Me the same.
What else could I say,
Because I think I was to blame.
it was just not meant to be,
so many tears.
the moonlight shone,
for all i can say is; i'm sorry.
in fear, i presume
yup. finally got over the resume and application letter. done with it. finished with it. haha. although i understand that it's only for the good of me, i still can't help but grumble about it. haha. typical ain't i?
today's a freaky day. it was bright and shiny in the morning when i woke up. was going to school and a wonderful prediction of mine came true. it rained. haha. actually not so much of a prediction. but a forecast. the dark clouds were hovering above. haha.
school was fine. although i walk around and people commenting that how slack that i was wearing. ok fine. indeed. a tee, shorts, and slippers. like wow. so slack. haha. i don't even give it a shit.
you know. it's so funny. when someone says something. anything. a word, a phrase, a sentence, anything. it just strikes deep into your heart. how would you feel? fun right? the feeling of the pain in your heart. the heart bleeds. how does it feel? nice? shiok? haha.
so when that someone say that something. what on earth is that someone thinking? i tell you. that person actually is seeking some fun. he hopes to make people HURT. he's like a jerk. an asshole. a piece of black cow dung. shit him. do you know what he has done? he has just hurt someone. HURT someone. where? right in the HEART? who gives a damn. no one. pathetic.
does it applies to being too straightforward? do people like being straight to the point? or prefer beating around the stinky bush.
tell me about it. go find out. (i'm sounding like my law lecturer.)
haha.
take care ya peeps.
cool it...
an anger, so hard to let it out...
yup. finally got over the resume and application letter. done with it. finished with it. haha. although i understand that it's only for the good of me, i still can't help but grumble about it. haha. typical ain't i?
today's a freaky day. it was bright and shiny in the morning when i woke up. was going to school and a wonderful prediction of mine came true. it rained. haha. actually not so much of a prediction. but a forecast. the dark clouds were hovering above. haha.
school was fine. although i walk around and people commenting that how slack that i was wearing. ok fine. indeed. a tee, shorts, and slippers. like wow. so slack. haha. i don't even give it a shit.
you know. it's so funny. when someone says something. anything. a word, a phrase, a sentence, anything. it just strikes deep into your heart. how would you feel? fun right? the feeling of the pain in your heart. the heart bleeds. how does it feel? nice? shiok? haha.
so when that someone say that something. what on earth is that someone thinking? i tell you. that person actually is seeking some fun. he hopes to make people HURT. he's like a jerk. an asshole. a piece of black cow dung. shit him. do you know what he has done? he has just hurt someone. HURT someone. where? right in the HEART? who gives a damn. no one. pathetic.
does it applies to being too straightforward? do people like being straight to the point? or prefer beating around the stinky bush.
tell me about it. go find out. (i'm sounding like my law lecturer.)
haha.
take care ya peeps.
cool it...
an anger, so hard to let it out...
Monday, January 26, 2004
happiness, low in supply
i swear. this is the first time i actually put aside my work and decided to work on this. perhaps is those days which i never really had the chance to type much. when i decided to make it up the following hours.
have you ever really wondered. really go and wonder...
the angel. who is always white. who always says the wise things and almost correct things. who always have those frail wings yet can fly. who always mumbles to you what may seem to be the most irritating things on earth. oh ya. and that stupid little holy ring above.
here comes the devil. who always have those horny red horns. dressed in black. carry that fork-alike thingy which i don't know what is it. ya. whatever.not sure if that little thing have wings though. haha. black is the only colour he know. and whatever he says. you always feel goood. definitely.
now think about it.
devil : nono. you're going to regret this if you're not going to do it. go on. don't be afraid. things always turns out fine? don't they?
angel : don't ever do such a thing. it's going to hurt. you know it.
what do you do? smack the freaking angel right? haha.
angel : things ain't that bad. look on it from the bright side. he's not bad. you're good. perfect. there's nothing to worry.
devil : don't be fooled. he's a loser. you're going to lose out. grab him right there. let yourself be over him.
what do you do? fuck the devil? nope? kill them both.
angel : money ain't everything. work will provide sufficient. be thankful. enough money for you will be best.
devil : money means power. the more you have the more power you have. think about it. money is the key. no money. nothing at all!
so how? kiss the devil.
angel : law brings about the proper freedom. without law restricting us, there will be chaos all around.
devil : law bring too much restriction. restriction is bad. total freedom to do what you want is the best of all. you can go and do whatever you want. noone is watching. no restrictions.
think about it. it's in you.
angel : it's alright. getting up from when you fall is very important. don't lie down there forever.
devil : you suck. you loser. you failure. go and cry in one freaking stinky corner.
if i'm the devil, i'll fuck myself.
i don't mean anything.
i won't be able to explain to you anything. don't ask me.
yup.
take care peeps.
nitez.
what productivity actually means today...
i swear. this is the first time i actually put aside my work and decided to work on this. perhaps is those days which i never really had the chance to type much. when i decided to make it up the following hours.
have you ever really wondered. really go and wonder...
the angel. who is always white. who always says the wise things and almost correct things. who always have those frail wings yet can fly. who always mumbles to you what may seem to be the most irritating things on earth. oh ya. and that stupid little holy ring above.
here comes the devil. who always have those horny red horns. dressed in black. carry that fork-alike thingy which i don't know what is it. ya. whatever.not sure if that little thing have wings though. haha. black is the only colour he know. and whatever he says. you always feel goood. definitely.
now think about it.
devil : nono. you're going to regret this if you're not going to do it. go on. don't be afraid. things always turns out fine? don't they?
angel : don't ever do such a thing. it's going to hurt. you know it.
what do you do? smack the freaking angel right? haha.
angel : things ain't that bad. look on it from the bright side. he's not bad. you're good. perfect. there's nothing to worry.
devil : don't be fooled. he's a loser. you're going to lose out. grab him right there. let yourself be over him.
what do you do? fuck the devil? nope? kill them both.
angel : money ain't everything. work will provide sufficient. be thankful. enough money for you will be best.
devil : money means power. the more you have the more power you have. think about it. money is the key. no money. nothing at all!
so how? kiss the devil.
angel : law brings about the proper freedom. without law restricting us, there will be chaos all around.
devil : law bring too much restriction. restriction is bad. total freedom to do what you want is the best of all. you can go and do whatever you want. noone is watching. no restrictions.
think about it. it's in you.
angel : it's alright. getting up from when you fall is very important. don't lie down there forever.
devil : you suck. you loser. you failure. go and cry in one freaking stinky corner.
if i'm the devil, i'll fuck myself.
i don't mean anything.
i won't be able to explain to you anything. don't ask me.
yup.
take care peeps.
nitez.
what productivity actually means today...
Sunday, January 25, 2004
twenty four hours, too little
hey! my computer's back. haha. it has been down since lunar new year starts. thanks to my heroine, who has helped me get this old crap, that i'm using to blog, alive and kicking, able to perform its usual routines and stuffs.
this new year arh. i tell you guys. truely, stupid. one day, twenty four hours. it's never enough for me. god dammit. i realise. it's either i'm going to be busy like hell, or free like what a loner might felt. it's two extremes. when i'm busy, everything comes. everyone comes too. it's hard to manage. so here, i apologise ya. it's really hard. really hard to please people. really hard to make things work out. wrong choice i will makee. right choice i will choose.
but i hope i get things right. sorry people.
see this ok.
SORRY. really. Sincerely.
SORRY.
don't want to go about telling people the past few days things. but i might do it in the future once it comes to me. and you know what? this stupid rain that has been going on for days has caused many inconvenience. god better pay us back by providing the clouds when the sun's out. damn it.
it's not that i don't want. it's just that i can't. it's not that i can't. it's just that i can't bring myself to do it. indeed, people might say they understand. but what the fuck do they know? sometimes, just scram la. okay? don't make me do this on a new year ya. it's not over yet.
what do parents know? ang pows are definitely shrinking this lousy new year. infact, i wasn't sure if i'm having a new year. haha. boring man. singapore's new year is freaking BORING. read me. B.O.R.I.N.G. yes. damn it.
and don't give me that shit, ok? this and that. i've had it. and i guess i would have a outburst of my rage soon. don't get me doing it ok? i'm not in the mood.
i'm glad you've found your way here. changes indeed. for the better? tell me about it. =P but the link provided is wrong. hehe. you know who you are. i'd appreciate it if you kindly change it ya? thanks. =)
yup.
PEACE. ^^V
i feel better already.
thank god.
guan yin ma too.
no offence ya. =)
take care dudes...
and babes...
forget me not =X
miss ya peeps.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
twenty four bucks, too little
hey! my computer's back. haha. it has been down since lunar new year starts. thanks to my heroine, who has helped me get this old crap, that i'm using to blog, alive and kicking, able to perform its usual routines and stuffs.
this new year arh. i tell you guys. truely, stupid. one day, twenty four hours. it's never enough for me. god dammit. i realise. it's either i'm going to be busy like hell, or free like what a loner might felt. it's two extremes. when i'm busy, everything comes. everyone comes too. it's hard to manage. so here, i apologise ya. it's really hard. really hard to please people. really hard to make things work out. wrong choice i will makee. right choice i will choose.
but i hope i get things right. sorry people.
see this ok.
SORRY. really. Sincerely.
SORRY.
don't want to go about telling people the past few days things. but i might do it in the future once it comes to me. and you know what? this stupid rain that has been going on for days has caused many inconvenience. god better pay us back by providing the clouds when the sun's out. damn it.
it's not that i don't want. it's just that i can't. it's not that i can't. it's just that i can't bring myself to do it. indeed, people might say they understand. but what the fuck do they know? sometimes, just scram la. okay? don't make me do this on a new year ya. it's not over yet.
what do parents know? ang pows are definitely shrinking this lousy new year. infact, i wasn't sure if i'm having a new year. haha. boring man. singapore's new year is freaking BORING. read me. B.O.R.I.N.G. yes. damn it.
and don't give me that shit, ok? this and that. i've had it. and i guess i would have a outburst of my rage soon. don't get me doing it ok? i'm not in the mood.
i'm glad you've found your way here. changes indeed. for the better? tell me about it. =P but the link provided is wrong. hehe. you know who you are. i'd appreciate it if you kindly change it ya? thanks. =)
yup.
PEACE. ^^V
i feel better already.
thank god.
guan yin ma too.
no offence ya. =)
take care dudes...
and babes...
forget me not =X
miss ya peeps.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
twenty four bucks, too little
Thursday, January 15, 2004
i've never had a dream come true
you know. it's like this and it's like that lor. today's so screwed up sia. damn blur. haha. slow three beats liao lor. school was alright lor. tutorials etc etc. nothing fun la. all fan(frustrating) lor.
don't know lar. use here for complains and shitty things only. want to hear nice things come find me. =P
take care lor.
blurred out.
ciaoz~
the one...
you know. it's like this and it's like that lor. today's so screwed up sia. damn blur. haha. slow three beats liao lor. school was alright lor. tutorials etc etc. nothing fun la. all fan(frustrating) lor.
don't know lar. use here for complains and shitty things only. want to hear nice things come find me. =P
take care lor.
blurred out.
ciaoz~
the one...
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
i've learnt but hardly grew
i don't know.
how's today? it's alright. that's all i can tell you. haha. went to the library and watch cable tv. along the way, remind myself that i will be able to catch the English Premier league Highlights on channel I tonight at 7.30pm. guess what. i just reached home 20 minutes ago. haha. like? 10pm lorx. so, i missed it. that's it.
love is in the air. it's all about patching up and breaking and new couples together. this new season.
If you see me loving someone else, it's not that i don't love you, it's just that you didn't caught me when i fell in love with you.
i think it's wrong to think likewise.
but.
seriously.
i like girls that tends to take the initiative. :p
back to today. haha. school was alright. there wasn't any lectures, a couple of tutorials. very much to my surprise, this lady teacher of mine was like so clear-cut to what we have to do in like 40 minutes? wow. she's great when she's doing it that way. kills alot of time and is almost efficient. haha. much better than last semester. when she had to nag her way through.
oh. if she sees this, i'm sorry. but i have the rights to type what i want. ya? some data protection which i'm going to learn about this semester. so, update on it sometime later. yup.
you know. it's like there's no new feeling to everything. social wise. academic wise, almost everything is new. that's what i like about that. so new. left untouched. and only if you touched it, you learn. you gain. apart from clearing it this semester. haha. so social wise, nothing new. although the topics being discussed has always something new, or something amusing always manage to pop up. guess that's what attitudes are all about. it's when they get together and create a whole new spark. a chemistry.
6610 is cool.
pink is the colour to observe and love.
brown too. cannot neglect this colour. damn cool a colour. yup.
and polo tee are hot stuff. converse shoes are damn nice.
personally. haha. yup.
i don't know about you. but i need money. haha. left like 18 bucks for the rest of the week. good gracious. save save save.
got to go...
ciaOz~
tAke cAre & GooD LuCkz~
if it's only you and me, close your eyes...
i don't know.
how's today? it's alright. that's all i can tell you. haha. went to the library and watch cable tv. along the way, remind myself that i will be able to catch the English Premier league Highlights on channel I tonight at 7.30pm. guess what. i just reached home 20 minutes ago. haha. like? 10pm lorx. so, i missed it. that's it.
love is in the air. it's all about patching up and breaking and new couples together. this new season.
If you see me loving someone else, it's not that i don't love you, it's just that you didn't caught me when i fell in love with you.
i think it's wrong to think likewise.
but.
seriously.
i like girls that tends to take the initiative. :p
back to today. haha. school was alright. there wasn't any lectures, a couple of tutorials. very much to my surprise, this lady teacher of mine was like so clear-cut to what we have to do in like 40 minutes? wow. she's great when she's doing it that way. kills alot of time and is almost efficient. haha. much better than last semester. when she had to nag her way through.
oh. if she sees this, i'm sorry. but i have the rights to type what i want. ya? some data protection which i'm going to learn about this semester. so, update on it sometime later. yup.
you know. it's like there's no new feeling to everything. social wise. academic wise, almost everything is new. that's what i like about that. so new. left untouched. and only if you touched it, you learn. you gain. apart from clearing it this semester. haha. so social wise, nothing new. although the topics being discussed has always something new, or something amusing always manage to pop up. guess that's what attitudes are all about. it's when they get together and create a whole new spark. a chemistry.
6610 is cool.
pink is the colour to observe and love.
brown too. cannot neglect this colour. damn cool a colour. yup.
and polo tee are hot stuff. converse shoes are damn nice.
personally. haha. yup.
i don't know about you. but i need money. haha. left like 18 bucks for the rest of the week. good gracious. save save save.
got to go...
ciaOz~
tAke cAre & GooD LuCkz~
if it's only you and me, close your eyes...
Sunday, January 11, 2004
that place, so near yet so far
I am going to make a post today. why today? no special reason. just feel like doing it today. so. the school has started. routines are surfacing. everyday almost the same identical stuffs happening. maybe some are different. but basically, they are the same.
attitudes changed. from bad to worse. from worse to worser. haha. from normal to good. good to better. tutorials to be done. lectures to be attended. timetable to follow. food to eat. water to drink. and nevertheless, interaction is needed to be accomplished. tough job for me. haha. damn Temasek Polytechnic. yup.
today is sunday. homework day? perhaps. haha. i did only one tutorial today. there are more. but i only can make myself to complete one. so i did one. and one has been done. haha.
in need for superb fantastic inspiration. someone inspire me, please!. haha. good gracious. jesus christ.
guess my day's going to be all about rotting. haha. work, watch some tv, crap around etc. etc. sunday's a rest day! what do you expect?
my schooling days ain't any better. schools might end late. i go hang around the malls and complete some things, then sweet. it's morning. midnight rather. haha.
look on the other side. things are better. i am more occupied currently. able to take things off my mind easier. haha. work. and more work.
sounds psycho, don't i? haha. what can i do. i'm like so out of my wit's end. haha. i will use this space for complains soon. or maybe i'm doing it now.
projects coming up. yea. need to get a website done. website. not webpage. website consists of tons of webpages. haha. creativity is the key. i guess i need inspiration for my creativity? or maybe i'm wrong. who knows? me? but i don't know.
contradictions man. i'm loving it.
dinner soon.
what ya having for dinner?
ciaoz~
bound to seperate once together...
I am going to make a post today. why today? no special reason. just feel like doing it today. so. the school has started. routines are surfacing. everyday almost the same identical stuffs happening. maybe some are different. but basically, they are the same.
attitudes changed. from bad to worse. from worse to worser. haha. from normal to good. good to better. tutorials to be done. lectures to be attended. timetable to follow. food to eat. water to drink. and nevertheless, interaction is needed to be accomplished. tough job for me. haha. damn Temasek Polytechnic. yup.
today is sunday. homework day? perhaps. haha. i did only one tutorial today. there are more. but i only can make myself to complete one. so i did one. and one has been done. haha.
in need for superb fantastic inspiration. someone inspire me, please!. haha. good gracious. jesus christ.
guess my day's going to be all about rotting. haha. work, watch some tv, crap around etc. etc. sunday's a rest day! what do you expect?
my schooling days ain't any better. schools might end late. i go hang around the malls and complete some things, then sweet. it's morning. midnight rather. haha.
look on the other side. things are better. i am more occupied currently. able to take things off my mind easier. haha. work. and more work.
sounds psycho, don't i? haha. what can i do. i'm like so out of my wit's end. haha. i will use this space for complains soon. or maybe i'm doing it now.
projects coming up. yea. need to get a website done. website. not webpage. website consists of tons of webpages. haha. creativity is the key. i guess i need inspiration for my creativity? or maybe i'm wrong. who knows? me? but i don't know.
contradictions man. i'm loving it.
dinner soon.
what ya having for dinner?
ciaoz~
bound to seperate once together...
Sunday, January 04, 2004
that bottle, half full or half empty
dreams. yup. that's what makes your life better. haha. i don't know how to put it. but a life without dreams aint life at all. true? that's for you to judge. personally, i don't really know. infact, i've never really had a purpose in my life. needless say, a dream. not that type where you fall asleep and think of monsters chasing you. but a dream. one that you have pinned your hopes on. one. that you've decided to gamble towards it. yup.
come to think of it. i've always wanted to be a very successful businessman. all the many sectors of the economy currently, i want to be part of it. i want to get money out of each and every sector. haha. greed? perhaps.
a family? perhaps. haha. a wife whose lips will always be as sweet as honey and so on. haha. *grins* a perfect figure etc etc. i don't care if the once-perfect figure will be matronly. :P she's still the one. and my kids. i'm going to provide them with each and every material possesion, and my wife too.
ok. a fact. a successful businessman, besides having a lady at his back, will always have too much money and time on their hands. so? they get a little hanky-panky on the side. haha. soccer betting, race horses, loads and loads of money spent on pretty young air hostess and models. haha. why? perhaps there was this "thrill" in everything. haha. but look, never ever be off the line. crossed the border and over the limit. haha.
then. there's this mountains of rich food and never ending alcohol and cigarettes. yup. just continue and continue. so what will happen? a stroke perhaps? haha. when having a stroke, you collasped and when doing so, you clutchedyour heart. *ouch* then, you prayed a pretty young nurse will come over and resuscitate you. haha. those cpr kinda stuffs. afterwards, you'll wake up and find yourself amazingly alive. doctors will tell you," you've been clinically dead for three minutes, you're lucky to have survived. " that kinda things. haha.
what happens during that three minutes? perhaps you're faced with two different paths and you might see two signboards.
one looked like a PIE expressway. very well furnished those type. haha. there, is a luxurious limousine and a chauffeur waiting. the signboard reads "Path to hell - All the woman, wine, song, cigarettes,and money you will ever desire."
the other. much like the jogging path of Bedok Reservoir. alot of stones. desolate and barren. the signboard? " Path to heaven - Eternal life and peace."
your choice? haha. my choice? the path to hell. is like what the heck? jog to heaven? haha. go to hell.
so in you go into the luxurious limousine. the chaffeur drive you down the path. you wait. what do you do? of course, get a cigarette burning. haha. you found a carton of Marlboro Menthol. you took a pack and then a cigarette. where's the darn lighter? asked the chaffeur for a flame. "sorry sir, we only promised cigarettes and not lighters." god damn it.
it's okay, you tell yourself.
then infront of you. you see a box. filled with stacks of cash notes. good gracious. look at the stack! and the variety of credit cards. gosh. this is close to heaven. haha. and you saw a phone. "send me the best girl you have, and fast" *poof* she appeared right beside you. surely, much better than the one at home, haha. perfect. so? what do you do? *grins* but! you just couldn't react, couldn't stand. "don't worry sir, all my customers have the same problem. it's the gravity down here in hell you see. " god damn it, again.
there it stood. the Hennessy VSOP. opened it up. gulp down plentiful of it. and puke out twice the amout. it tasted like chinese tea! seeing this, the chaffeur said " Satan rules here, but God is the boss after all, no alcohol. " what the! shit it and of course, god damn it.
so now what? i'm stucked in this shit hole! crap. i can feel the heat coming up as it must be nearing hell. arrghhh!
and like all stories.
i woke up! and it was a bad dream...
ciaoz~ take care people! :)
can god really make it half full? hmm...
dreams. yup. that's what makes your life better. haha. i don't know how to put it. but a life without dreams aint life at all. true? that's for you to judge. personally, i don't really know. infact, i've never really had a purpose in my life. needless say, a dream. not that type where you fall asleep and think of monsters chasing you. but a dream. one that you have pinned your hopes on. one. that you've decided to gamble towards it. yup.
come to think of it. i've always wanted to be a very successful businessman. all the many sectors of the economy currently, i want to be part of it. i want to get money out of each and every sector. haha. greed? perhaps.
a family? perhaps. haha. a wife whose lips will always be as sweet as honey and so on. haha. *grins* a perfect figure etc etc. i don't care if the once-perfect figure will be matronly. :P she's still the one. and my kids. i'm going to provide them with each and every material possesion, and my wife too.
ok. a fact. a successful businessman, besides having a lady at his back, will always have too much money and time on their hands. so? they get a little hanky-panky on the side. haha. soccer betting, race horses, loads and loads of money spent on pretty young air hostess and models. haha. why? perhaps there was this "thrill" in everything. haha. but look, never ever be off the line. crossed the border and over the limit. haha.
then. there's this mountains of rich food and never ending alcohol and cigarettes. yup. just continue and continue. so what will happen? a stroke perhaps? haha. when having a stroke, you collasped and when doing so, you clutchedyour heart. *ouch* then, you prayed a pretty young nurse will come over and resuscitate you. haha. those cpr kinda stuffs. afterwards, you'll wake up and find yourself amazingly alive. doctors will tell you," you've been clinically dead for three minutes, you're lucky to have survived. " that kinda things. haha.
what happens during that three minutes? perhaps you're faced with two different paths and you might see two signboards.
one looked like a PIE expressway. very well furnished those type. haha. there, is a luxurious limousine and a chauffeur waiting. the signboard reads "Path to hell - All the woman, wine, song, cigarettes,and money you will ever desire."
the other. much like the jogging path of Bedok Reservoir. alot of stones. desolate and barren. the signboard? " Path to heaven - Eternal life and peace."
your choice? haha. my choice? the path to hell. is like what the heck? jog to heaven? haha. go to hell.
so in you go into the luxurious limousine. the chaffeur drive you down the path. you wait. what do you do? of course, get a cigarette burning. haha. you found a carton of Marlboro Menthol. you took a pack and then a cigarette. where's the darn lighter? asked the chaffeur for a flame. "sorry sir, we only promised cigarettes and not lighters." god damn it.
it's okay, you tell yourself.
then infront of you. you see a box. filled with stacks of cash notes. good gracious. look at the stack! and the variety of credit cards. gosh. this is close to heaven. haha. and you saw a phone. "send me the best girl you have, and fast" *poof* she appeared right beside you. surely, much better than the one at home, haha. perfect. so? what do you do? *grins* but! you just couldn't react, couldn't stand. "don't worry sir, all my customers have the same problem. it's the gravity down here in hell you see. " god damn it, again.
there it stood. the Hennessy VSOP. opened it up. gulp down plentiful of it. and puke out twice the amout. it tasted like chinese tea! seeing this, the chaffeur said " Satan rules here, but God is the boss after all, no alcohol. " what the! shit it and of course, god damn it.
so now what? i'm stucked in this shit hole! crap. i can feel the heat coming up as it must be nearing hell. arrghhh!
and like all stories.
i woke up! and it was a bad dream...
ciaoz~ take care people! :)
can god really make it half full? hmm...
Friday, January 02, 2004
rolling on the floor
Your sign of frustration is....Well, nothing. You
never get frustrated, which is very odd.
Nothing bothers you, and you act very sensible
when you are faced with a problem. Remember
though, that it is alright to get frustrated on
certain occasions, for it is only natural.
What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
trying to laugh...
Your sign of frustration is....Well, nothing. You
never get frustrated, which is very odd.
Nothing bothers you, and you act very sensible
when you are faced with a problem. Remember
though, that it is alright to get frustrated on
certain occasions, for it is only natural.
What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
trying to laugh...
significance
2nd day of the new year.
just tore away the 1st page of the calender.
haha.
a new year. a year to throw away my 2003? haha. i don't know about that. but if a new year means new things throughout. 1 thing that will never change, which i would not want to change to is those people around me. haha. they can change. but they won't change abit in my heart kinda thing. haha. you know what i mean, don't you? haha. so kinda forgive me ok? haha. new year. i can ask for forgiveness right? pleaseeeee.
and my buddy. this paragraph is for you man! haha. everyone needs a buddy right? haha. really appreciate what we have done together, and seperately. haha. yup. thanks for all the help, the words, the advice, the comments and so on and so on. really. thanks. things will worked out smoothly, don't they? don't worry man. keep the drinks going! haha.
people! sorry if my attitude went haywire or whatsoever, if i stepped on your tail and made you mad or angry or even hatred. i'm sorry. >.<
my parents? sorry i didn't help out in the painting of the house! and went out for fun during countdown. and you people were in the house painting! i don't know if my sister feels the guilt, for she, too, went out for countdown. haha. but i'm telling you people, i am guilty. haha. so i must get a wall done myself. and leave the rest to you. haha. you people will do a better job. appreciate it man! yup. :)
5566 - Boyfriend [lyrics/music by: Anders Nilsson]
I'm sorry for me buggin' you
sorry for being such a fool
God knows I've tried but I can't let go
I'm crazy 'bout you know who
I'm sorry for me needing you
sorry girl that you don't feel it too
I get the point, should be a man about it
I've never been good at that - no no
forgive me for being me
I've tried to let go
Chorus:
I know you got a boyfriend - another man
another guy by your side
someone who hopefully treats you right
but you don't know how much I wish that I was
your boyfriend - that other guy
the only one who's allowed
in your room to lay in your arms at night
now you don't know how much I wish that I was your boyfriend
I'm sorry for me wanting you
sorry for not playing by the rules
but what would you do if you were in my shoes
feeling lost and blue Mnn
I'm sorry for me lovin' you
sorry for being such a fool
God knows I've tried but I can't let go
I'm crazy 'bout you know who
Chorus:
another man is by your side
I hope he treats you right
I wish I was the only one
to lay in your arms at night
well you can't blame a guy for tryin'
now what else can I do
and how I wish that my prayers, thoughts and dreams
would become reality
haha. people! it's time to make a impact. in this new year. haha.
i'm now off to create something.
wish me luck. haha.
ciaoz~
take care.
guess how i am feeling right now, yes, this moment...
2nd day of the new year.
just tore away the 1st page of the calender.
haha.
a new year. a year to throw away my 2003? haha. i don't know about that. but if a new year means new things throughout. 1 thing that will never change, which i would not want to change to is those people around me. haha. they can change. but they won't change abit in my heart kinda thing. haha. you know what i mean, don't you? haha. so kinda forgive me ok? haha. new year. i can ask for forgiveness right? pleaseeeee.
and my buddy. this paragraph is for you man! haha. everyone needs a buddy right? haha. really appreciate what we have done together, and seperately. haha. yup. thanks for all the help, the words, the advice, the comments and so on and so on. really. thanks. things will worked out smoothly, don't they? don't worry man. keep the drinks going! haha.
people! sorry if my attitude went haywire or whatsoever, if i stepped on your tail and made you mad or angry or even hatred. i'm sorry. >.<
my parents? sorry i didn't help out in the painting of the house! and went out for fun during countdown. and you people were in the house painting! i don't know if my sister feels the guilt, for she, too, went out for countdown. haha. but i'm telling you people, i am guilty. haha. so i must get a wall done myself. and leave the rest to you. haha. you people will do a better job. appreciate it man! yup. :)
5566 - Boyfriend [lyrics/music by: Anders Nilsson]
I'm sorry for me buggin' you
sorry for being such a fool
God knows I've tried but I can't let go
I'm crazy 'bout you know who
I'm sorry for me needing you
sorry girl that you don't feel it too
I get the point, should be a man about it
I've never been good at that - no no
forgive me for being me
I've tried to let go
Chorus:
I know you got a boyfriend - another man
another guy by your side
someone who hopefully treats you right
but you don't know how much I wish that I was
your boyfriend - that other guy
the only one who's allowed
in your room to lay in your arms at night
now you don't know how much I wish that I was your boyfriend
I'm sorry for me wanting you
sorry for not playing by the rules
but what would you do if you were in my shoes
feeling lost and blue Mnn
I'm sorry for me lovin' you
sorry for being such a fool
God knows I've tried but I can't let go
I'm crazy 'bout you know who
Chorus:
another man is by your side
I hope he treats you right
I wish I was the only one
to lay in your arms at night
well you can't blame a guy for tryin'
now what else can I do
and how I wish that my prayers, thoughts and dreams
would become reality
haha. people! it's time to make a impact. in this new year. haha.
i'm now off to create something.
wish me luck. haha.
ciaoz~
take care.
guess how i am feeling right now, yes, this moment...
Thursday, January 01, 2004
amusing, again
whatever...
|
Are you Addicted to the Internet?
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me! |
whatever...
amusing
Happy new year!
a brand new 2004.
haha.
went for countdown and stuffs. pretty cool. i must say. haha. don't want to talk about it. had fun is truth. didn't had fun also is part of the truth. go figure! bleahs.
staring at my timetable. good gracious. very very nice timetable. haha. was hoping i would have time to maybe join a CCA or something. but~ forget it. it's still as squeezy as ever. if not is classes ends late and i hate to drain myself out for CCAs. haha :X not worth it lo.
not going to talk about big big things. not going to spread concerns. just going to end it here. yup.
ciaoz~ take care~
if i am you, i would be me...
Happy new year!
a brand new 2004.
haha.
went for countdown and stuffs. pretty cool. i must say. haha. don't want to talk about it. had fun is truth. didn't had fun also is part of the truth. go figure! bleahs.
staring at my timetable. good gracious. very very nice timetable. haha. was hoping i would have time to maybe join a CCA or something. but~ forget it. it's still as squeezy as ever. if not is classes ends late and i hate to drain myself out for CCAs. haha :X not worth it lo.
not going to talk about big big things. not going to spread concerns. just going to end it here. yup.
ciaoz~ take care~
if i am you, i would be me...
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