a little space i call my own

haiya, this is so depressing la

turning 21. don't feel good and i don't know why. feels like shoulders are getting heavier. heads getting bigger. more things are coming in. to be more independent. to make more decisions. to be more... adult.

no celebrations please. i don't feel the need. and i don't know why.

haiya. this is all, so depressing can.

been feeling bad, my fault
feeling tired, my fault
lesser and lesser resources, my fault
no plans, my fault
make wrong decisions, my fault
cannot speak appropriately, my fault
no position, my fault
cannot work, my fault
more complaining, my fault
more things left undone, my fault
cannot meet work expectations, my fault

sigh. it's all my fault la.

sorry.
i'm just not ready.

good night. sweet dreams.
hope tomorrow's good for you. and for me.

i wish i wish, i'm just a filthy f***ing rich, dying old man...