the woman is deaf, she does not hear

.::Down poured the rain; the closed window streamed
.::With its cold tears; leaden hung the leaves
.::With a load of rain, heavier than grief;
.::And the white trumpets of bindweed flowers, the open
.::Trumpets of joy and summer were splashed with rain,
.::Stained like the faces of children scattered with tears.
.::There was no word, you rose and walked away,
.::And all I saw were the pale heart-shaped flowers,
.::And the rain falling, more silently than tears.

she comes not...

heh heh heh

Congratulations...
Your ideal celebrity date is Rachel Stevens.

You lust after the girl next door. She's sweet and pretty, but always game for a laugh.

Find out your lust!

oh man~

i'm getting older, or maybe just too young

for sure, i thought, that i would be staying at home and just laze around. however, this was cut off when i received a sms yesterday night for a soccer session today. so, my saturday's afternoon would be a soccer session.

morning, i woke up later than i should. i guess this was normal. i didn't want to get up anyway. and there's no point for me to get up so early now.

soccer was fun. went tpjc's basketball court for the several games.

haha. this hero was out to display his fascinating skills on the first try of all the games he played. left and right he turns. he pushes the ball forward, mantained possesion and fly pass three man. he is sure to go past more people and let the opposing team concede. ironically, he stepped on the ball and fell. scatches and bruises on his knee. he's alright. he's tough. he's a hero. maybe his girl will have a chance now.

then i'm home. again. doing nothing much. just thinking about things. trying to sort things out and face the school life again. one week holiday is ending soon. very soon. too soon.

my blisters hurt. three. two at the back. one is inside of another.

gotta go...

ciaoz~

take care...

for it is you, that make me realise, i am very young...

it has gotta be

Japanese or Korean What Language Are You?

yes it is...

it takes more

i am very tired right now.

really.

having to suffer from all this fatigue mentally and physcally, i think i have only myself to blame. doesn't it seems that way?

a proper meal a day. that's what i am doing now in this holiday. proper means there is really everything. other than that, i only had fruits or just a brownish curry puff.

there are much more to be said. but i'm afraid no one will believe me. so i might as well just stop right here.

take care..

ciaoz~

i want to know the future because the present and past...

holiday

someone please give me a definition for holiday? puhleaseeeeeee. do so in the comment box at the end of this post.

terribly long extract...

Message: BASICS

001) Name: fish
002) D.O.B.: 16th may 1986
003) Location: east
004) Religion: buddhist? hmm...
005) Occupation: Student~~~

001) Hair: brownish..
002) Eyes: black, i don't really know... tell me kk?

STYLE
001) Clothing: tee, jeans
002) Music: don't know, quite a wide range
003) Make-up: no such need...
004) Body art: considering... seriously...

RIGHT NOW
001) Wearing: tee and shorts,
002) Listening to: goo goo dolls - we are the normal.mp3
003) Thinking of : dear ba...

LAST THING YOU...
001) Bought: a bottle of ice mountain
002) Ate and drank: banana and plain water
003) Watched on TV : The Westside story... aka Xi jie Shao Nian (chan u)

EITHER / OR
001) Club or houseparty: club
002) Tea or coffee: tea WITHOUT milk
003) Achiever or slacker: slacker, damn...
004) Beer or cider: beer..
005) Drinks or shots: drinks..
006) Cats or dogs: fuck them both, i like neither..
007) Single or taken: it's obvious..
008) Pen or pencil: pencil.. make a mistake can erase easily...
009) Gloves or mittens: mittens..
010) Food or candy: food..
011) Cassette or CD: depends on da contents, usually CD..
012) Coke or Pepsi: pepsi,
013) Hard or mild alcohol: mild..
014) Matches or a lighter: lighter, who uses matches nowadays?
015) Sunset beach or the bold and the
beautiful: no idea...
016) Rickie lake or Oprah Winfrey: neither. if have to choose, gotta be Oprah Winfrey..

LAST PERSON YOU... AND WHEN?
001) Touched: mother, dinner time, wash dishes..
002) Talked to: sister, 11pm,
003) Who broke your heart: noone, i'm heartless for some reasons.. it's always me being the fucking guy going around breaking hearts..
004) Had a crush on: don't tell you =P

WHERE DO YOU...
001) Eat: don't know..
002) Dance: hardly ever dance..
003) Cry: can i change this to bleed? it might be easier...
004) Wish you were: hell, dead.

HAVE YOU EVER...
001) Dated one of your best friends?: look, i'm not gay..
002) Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: i think so..
003) Drank alcohol?: horribly yes...
004) Done drugs: panadol?
005) Broken the law: definitely..
006) Ran away from home: nope. usually, is my parents want me out of the house.
008) Cheated on a test: yes.
009) Skinny dipped: fuck off..
010) Played truth or dare: of course..
011) Flashed someone: nope..
012) Mooned someone: nope..
013) Kissed someone you didn't know: yes..
014) Been on a talk/game show: nope..
015) Been in a fight: yes..
016) Ridden in a fire truck: nope..
017) Been on a plane: what's a plane?
018) Come close to dying: definitely,
019) Cheated on your boy/girlfriend: fuck off ok?
020) Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: yes..
021) Eaten a worm/mud pie?: yes.. a worm..
022) Swam in the ocean: nope, who says i know how to swim?
023) Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up: definitely, it's fucking scary shit

WHAT IS...
001) The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: it has gotta be fann wong...
002) Your bedroom like?: messy, things are always out of place..
003) Your favorite thing for breakfast?: english breakfast with tea WITHOUT milk but with sugar
004) Your favorite thing for lunch?: noodles, of any kind..
005) Your favorite thing for dinner?: rice, of any kind..
006) Your favorite Restaurant?: forgot, my dad brought me there... classic..

ARE YOU...
001) A Vegetarian?: what?! i can't see that word.. *close eyes*
002) A Good Student?: define good.. either way, i am not..
003) Good At Sports?: definitely no
004) Wakeboarding/snowboarding: i can't swim, and there's no snow in singapore..
005) A Good Singer?: haha! i can't afford the damages..
006) A good Actor/Actress?: come on, who isn't an actor or actress in reality?
007) A deep sleeper?: nope, i'm light
008) A Good Dancer?: nope, i prefer to be stable.. but this answer might change..
009) Shy?: VERY... HEEEEEE
010) Outgoing?: people, tell me about this..
011) A good storyteller?: they say i am, i think i am not... my mother say i am,
012) Last words?: how many of you think that i am posting the real facts except my birthdate? heh heh heh..

this made me wonder..

it's just so hard

What Drink Are You?

life's ain't the same

i don't love myself

when you want people to respect you, respect yourself. if you want people to love you, love yourself.

i can't do it.

so i guess i don't deserve a lover and also people to respect me.

how's da day? it's alright so far. though i got this really bad feeling something bad will happen later on. so i'll be on my guard. haha. really bad feeling.

and here's the deal. i felt that this semester's test is really relatively easy. but i've got this really bad and insecure feeling about da results later on. again. this really bad feeling.

i guess i am a sucky person with attitude problem and a serious anti-social personality.

don't come and ask me what this post mean.

there'll be more.

don't believe me.

corx i don't even trust my inner voice.

heh.

ciaoz~

take care...

really lar.. miss those moments...

haiz. sianz.

now i am in da middle of catching up with my business accounting textbook. haha. was really strange to have to read about it again. but nevertheless, i am one that loves the test rather than those lessons and shit.

this is da only place i can say this i think. the only place where i can contradict with myself as much as i could. haha. as long as i still have THIS much of frustrations within. the blogskin of mine will always have a black background.

so i guess i gotta go.

ciAoz...

hate it when my tears fall, make me feel so silly...

you know one lor

was studying business statistics. now taking a break from it.

recently, having serious nightmares.

all about cars. accidents. driving a car. the steering wheel stuck, clutch brake accelerator all stuck. then crash. then die. then wake up. drink water. sleep. nightmare again. it's always about car driving. oh my god~

if not is people scolding me, give me face, give me attitude, all the problems give me settle and telling me to decide on things. usually my mother. scary. then will slap me. i wake up. drink water. try to sleep. nightmare again.

these things take turns, don't they? scareded.

okae.

enough.

study again.

think going to have nightmare about studying already.

taTa~

if only...

it's just so sad

when your handphone doesn't ring at all in a day.

ok. my handphone can just be silent for a day.

kinda upset. haha.

i might just thought that my line is clogged up. the operator told me she would check. but the line isn't clogged at all. that's what they told me. haix.

when did this happen? i don't know too. what's the point of me carrying a handphone. no point at all it seems. haix.

what did i do again? i don't know. haix.

sian la...

koon la...

tmd...

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

can't help it.

you're not suppose to believe me

but i do feel better already...

let's just say

yea.. happy valentine's day...

1) When you stop doing something, then will only people start noticing you.

2) People changes.

3) Valentine is all about flowers being sold at 5 bucks or more.

4) It's just valentine's day.

5) It's a wonder how people get together.

6) It's a wonder why people quarrel.

7) Take your time to live.

8) Take your time to choose things. Hurrying makes things worse.

9) No matter what i say. Noone will believe me.

10) Peace.

11) Fairness is not applicable to poor people.

for anything else, just refer to 9) when u feel like asking me...

it's just me being fucking unlucky kk?...

can't help but think

i can't help but think. i really need some fucking peace in my life. i really want that. peace. peace everywhere. peace in my soul. i need it.

why is it that whenever you talk? i hate you.

post more later.

gotta go do work.

ciaoz~

why...

hopefully, one message recieved

i'm starting to feel that what some people say about my patience and tolerance is quite true. i'm starting to agree.

they say.

that i have a very high level of patience and tolerance. *tip-toe and point to somewhere higher*

i am beginning to agree.

today, i've thought about it.

people say the most fucking irritating things on earth to me. i can tahan. i can take it. i don't know why. perhaps maybe i'm taurus and apathy.

my mum say me. it doesn't bothers abit.

i wait for people for a whole 3 hours. it's alright with me. i don't feel any hatred or anger towards them.

people can just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk non-stop beside me. i am able to listen attentively. but maybe i don't show it. but i am really listening. and usually, they won't believe. and like all people do. they get angry with me. good gracious. but it's alright with me. i know myself. i don't give them the message that i am listening to them. so they have their rights to be angry with me. but please. try to trust me la. haha.

no wonder people are always angry with me when i keep thinking to myself: "what in this fucking world have i done wrong?"

worse, they will say "you never do anything wrong! it's me lah.. OK?!"

and that makes me pek cek. but i don't blame them. coz i think it's my fault. and i don't blame myself. coz it's their fault too. like that think. nobody's fault. so i happy. haha.

then people think i don't care. and they get more frustrated with me. that's it. i don't wish to continue. you guys, might just find this irritating.

those words filled with pricky effects. needles was with those things you said when i heard it. it pricks my heart. i know. but i don't show it. it seems to go away. that feeling will go away sometime later. it won't bother me abit. i don't show it.

i'm beginning to doubt myself too.

but thinking back about things. i can tahan.

hmm...

i don't know.

just post it here incase i might just not care about myself.

tata~

t(",)t

one message recieved

sometimes i would just give up. but too bad. i didn't. haha. it just ain't me? i would only give up or don't care when i don't see a fucking need for me to continue. but i guess no one will understand. so not a point.

today is so fun. first time, i sit under the sun or rather, i am partially exposed to the sun. and there's no sweat. not a drip. i don't know why. maybe i'm not thinking about anything. not like what i usually do. that's why.

s.h.e is on channel "you" today at 2.30pm. crazy~ i watched it alone. damn terrible. haha. but nevertheless. it's a great show to watch it. even alone.

until today, i've realised how loneliness may seem scary. but i can get on with it. it doesn't really bothers me.

i've realised about the "loneliness" people are talking about. but to me. it's only temporary. look, there are so many friends out there. do something about it man. put those handphones into good use.

i need speakers. desperate in need of one. haha. creative.

i need to get things done. the several datelines(deadlines). the proposals. the reports. so on and so forth. like wow~

today's a crazy day.

yep..

take care.

ciaoz~

if it's nothing, it have got to be something...

initial d

yep. it has grabbed my attention. although, sadly, i've been leaving the stack of VCDs in one corner, but i've grown to watch it while wacking a spider.

it's nice. definitely. maybe i'm just lagging. but the heat for me is now on. haha. the drifts. so on and so forth.

today is normal. rather blue. but it's okay. at least nothing too bad happens. got my book. haha. hopefully, it doesn't disappoints me.

so sad. the pic ain't there on my blog now. don't know why.

realised. i can't do anything when i'm on the phone. i can't concentrate. haha.

end.

ciaoz~

take care~

something about the exhaust pipe...

something for the good of mind

feeling vexed. totally. haha. just want to end everything.

short.

ciaoz~

things has worsen...

it was painful

i mean it. it was a real pain. one move after another. getting more and more miserable.

lucky man. thanks to my buddy who relieved the pain ya. haha. the eight-six ya? =x

it was rather sick...

Apathy, well I can say your lucky, in some ways.
You see Apathy is no emotion, basically you
don't care. But that does not make you a bad
person. Some of my friends are apathetic and I
love them, but it wouldn't hurt to care a
little more. Trust me life hurts, most people
who are apathetic do it cause they were hurt.
But don't worry, life is pain, its also
pleasure. Good luck. (please vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
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