Saturday, August 30, 2003
Friday, August 29, 2003
this is what i get for hours of studying
i believe i studied. i screwed it up. haha! *PooF* instantaneous combustion. i think i'm dead.
everything i remembered, everything i memorised, i wrote the opposite. i have lost every inch of confidence for this particular subject, and maybe for the rest of the things i intend to do. someone lend me a helping hand! i desperately need one. *PiaKz* wake up ? nope, i definitely haven't do so. Hate this subject? maybe not... just hate that lecturer, tutor etc. doesn't matter right now, feel so fucked up. first time so screwed up for an exam! haha! whatever.
anyway, cmsy? fuck you! kekeke...
for the other subjects, i don't dare to think. maybe fail all maybe pass all maybe fail two or more. i don't really care right now. currently, i just want to give this body a break. maybe a blog or 2 may help. changing the graphic interface of my blog may do some good. black doesn't seem healthy at all. but white does. and here it is. however, i like a black, blue and brown. and tada! here it is... white with a touch of black, blue and brown. nevertheless changed the theme though. simplicity doesn't suit me no more, i more to a complex nature already.
oh gosh~ fatigue's catching up with me~ need bird nest! and maybe some moon cakes. *SIGH*
and my mood is damn spoilt right now. you wanna know why? it's because i que for my lunch and there were two indians right infront of me. nothing big? okay. picture this. you got your food. you wanna get your sauces. the 2 indians were standing beside you. they are waiting for their food as well but i got mine first! and they have damn big asses! great~ they won't budge. you reach full arm's length for the sauces. they didn't help. and furthur more! they stink. i won't doubt it if i lost my appetite. hopefully i didn't. i was starving. and worse to come, i need to walk across two big fat black asses just to get a knife and a fork! why must they be there? freaking idiots. damn freaking things that shldn't exist at all! and surprise surprise, they talk english! but after i reach over to get the sauces, they talk gibberish! well, maybe i am that influential after all... GRrrRrrrR...
don't talk to me!
# oh ya... added a guestbook, do sign if u see this ! if not i wouldn't know the beautiful people that has read my stuffs. #
~*ignorance is bliss*~
_|_ indians_|_
always look on the bright side of life? _|_ it too!
no offence. i prayed. and it suck, like totally....
i believe i studied. i screwed it up. haha! *PooF* instantaneous combustion. i think i'm dead.
everything i remembered, everything i memorised, i wrote the opposite. i have lost every inch of confidence for this particular subject, and maybe for the rest of the things i intend to do. someone lend me a helping hand! i desperately need one. *PiaKz* wake up ? nope, i definitely haven't do so. Hate this subject? maybe not... just hate that lecturer, tutor etc. doesn't matter right now, feel so fucked up. first time so screwed up for an exam! haha! whatever.
anyway, cmsy? fuck you! kekeke...
for the other subjects, i don't dare to think. maybe fail all maybe pass all maybe fail two or more. i don't really care right now. currently, i just want to give this body a break. maybe a blog or 2 may help. changing the graphic interface of my blog may do some good. black doesn't seem healthy at all. but white does. and here it is. however, i like a black, blue and brown. and tada! here it is... white with a touch of black, blue and brown. nevertheless changed the theme though. simplicity doesn't suit me no more, i more to a complex nature already.
oh gosh~ fatigue's catching up with me~ need bird nest! and maybe some moon cakes. *SIGH*
and my mood is damn spoilt right now. you wanna know why? it's because i que for my lunch and there were two indians right infront of me. nothing big? okay. picture this. you got your food. you wanna get your sauces. the 2 indians were standing beside you. they are waiting for their food as well but i got mine first! and they have damn big asses! great~ they won't budge. you reach full arm's length for the sauces. they didn't help. and furthur more! they stink. i won't doubt it if i lost my appetite. hopefully i didn't. i was starving. and worse to come, i need to walk across two big fat black asses just to get a knife and a fork! why must they be there? freaking idiots. damn freaking things that shldn't exist at all! and surprise surprise, they talk english! but after i reach over to get the sauces, they talk gibberish! well, maybe i am that influential after all... GRrrRrrrR...
don't talk to me!
# oh ya... added a guestbook, do sign if u see this ! if not i wouldn't know the beautiful people that has read my stuffs. #
~*ignorance is bliss*~
_|_ indians_|_
always look on the bright side of life? _|_ it too!
no offence. i prayed. and it suck, like totally....
Monday, August 18, 2003
all i wanted to do is to sit in the park and merge with the stars...
With a sigh I stretch my legs forward, lean further back on the park bench and gaze yearningly at those stars barely spotted at the blackness above. I feel as if a blanket of stars has been gently wrapped around me. I want to shut out the earthly noise of kids playing and balloons bursting and parents laughing, while I try to merge with the stars. I imagine waking up in the middle of the night, where all around there is only blackness and stars. So many stars, all around that I would soon feel I was one of them...
"Mummy, kan kan! (see see!)" cries a small girl clutching the strings of two balloons ( i tot i saw the word '' eastpoint '' on the balloons =P ) in her right hand. Her mother, (who is probably to my right judging by the direction of the girl's stare and the direction she ran), seems not to have heard her. So the little girl screams out again imploring her mother to look at her new possession. This time the mother hears her, smiled. '' wah... hen hao kan arh... na lee nah de ? (Nice balloons, where did you get that?) ''
The little girl runs fast, the balloons gently bobbing in the cool breeze.(obviously, ignoring her mother's question =// ) She runs past the playground, smiling and breathing hard. The wind blows through her black hair ( that shines under the dim light ) and she jumps and skips over stones and twigs. Running faster, to proudly show off her new treasure to her mother, she pays no attention to the kids playing with a ball, pays no attention to the girls playing with a skipping rope, she just runs on. As she comes running to where I am sitting, the mother leisurely ambles to just a few feet to my right. I look away from the little girl and her mother and cast my heavy eyes once again to the wonder above me. I am still desperately trying to wake up in total blackness and become a star. ( serious... I have a lot in my mind though... =P)
The little girl running fast, finds her feet fumbling for stability, as for some inexplicable reason she seems to float up with an expressionless bewilderment on her face. She lunges forward and lands heavily on her stomach. The balloons escape. My gaze is startled away from the white-spotted darkness and I look at the little girl sitting, sobbing near my outstretched feet.
Escaped like a balloon slipping away from the vice-like grip of a little girl.
I am as surprised as the little girl, who looks at me through her tears. My calmness can't be of much help. I sense certain confusion in her mind. Ambivalence; should she run after the balloons, that treasure that she loved so dearly, the treasure her mother was waiting to see, the treasure that...or should she sit and cry, bemoan her tragedy, her fall?
The mother charges down the few feet separating us. She waves her hand at the sitting, crying little girl. "How could you?!" her mother scowled and stared at me. The little girl stands up now and waits for her mother's protective embrace. Still condemning something I must have done to cause her daughter's fall, the mother arrives at my outstretched feet to join her daughter.
"Are you hurt?" she asks the little girl. (Seriously, I am surprised at the sudden usage of English by the mother... wakakka.. =P )
The little girl nods and rubs her knee, tears flowing down her cheeks. I look at her knee to judge the damage I would soon be alleged to have caused.
Still staring at me, "lai... wo men hui..." ( come, let's go... )
in a series of quick movements, I get up and kneel down before the standing (still crying though) little girl. The mother is startled at seeing me at such close quarters. ( am I that scary ? hmm... ) Ambivalence; should she scream or hold her emotions in abeyance until something actually happens?
The little girl looks at me guiltily.
Without a word, I tie her shoelaces.
They edge away slowly, quietly.
I return to the bench and with a sigh stretch my legs forward, lean further back and gaze yearningly at the stars barely spotted at the blackness above...
~~~~~~~~
i am the wind.
i wander alone.
to where?
to what?
~~~~~~~~
simplicity to its fullest...
With a sigh I stretch my legs forward, lean further back on the park bench and gaze yearningly at those stars barely spotted at the blackness above. I feel as if a blanket of stars has been gently wrapped around me. I want to shut out the earthly noise of kids playing and balloons bursting and parents laughing, while I try to merge with the stars. I imagine waking up in the middle of the night, where all around there is only blackness and stars. So many stars, all around that I would soon feel I was one of them...
"Mummy, kan kan! (see see!)" cries a small girl clutching the strings of two balloons ( i tot i saw the word '' eastpoint '' on the balloons =P ) in her right hand. Her mother, (who is probably to my right judging by the direction of the girl's stare and the direction she ran), seems not to have heard her. So the little girl screams out again imploring her mother to look at her new possession. This time the mother hears her, smiled. '' wah... hen hao kan arh... na lee nah de ? (Nice balloons, where did you get that?) ''
The little girl runs fast, the balloons gently bobbing in the cool breeze.(obviously, ignoring her mother's question =// ) She runs past the playground, smiling and breathing hard. The wind blows through her black hair ( that shines under the dim light ) and she jumps and skips over stones and twigs. Running faster, to proudly show off her new treasure to her mother, she pays no attention to the kids playing with a ball, pays no attention to the girls playing with a skipping rope, she just runs on. As she comes running to where I am sitting, the mother leisurely ambles to just a few feet to my right. I look away from the little girl and her mother and cast my heavy eyes once again to the wonder above me. I am still desperately trying to wake up in total blackness and become a star. ( serious... I have a lot in my mind though... =P)
The little girl running fast, finds her feet fumbling for stability, as for some inexplicable reason she seems to float up with an expressionless bewilderment on her face. She lunges forward and lands heavily on her stomach. The balloons escape. My gaze is startled away from the white-spotted darkness and I look at the little girl sitting, sobbing near my outstretched feet.
Escaped like a balloon slipping away from the vice-like grip of a little girl.
I am as surprised as the little girl, who looks at me through her tears. My calmness can't be of much help. I sense certain confusion in her mind. Ambivalence; should she run after the balloons, that treasure that she loved so dearly, the treasure her mother was waiting to see, the treasure that...or should she sit and cry, bemoan her tragedy, her fall?
The mother charges down the few feet separating us. She waves her hand at the sitting, crying little girl. "How could you?!" her mother scowled and stared at me. The little girl stands up now and waits for her mother's protective embrace. Still condemning something I must have done to cause her daughter's fall, the mother arrives at my outstretched feet to join her daughter.
"Are you hurt?" she asks the little girl. (Seriously, I am surprised at the sudden usage of English by the mother... wakakka.. =P )
The little girl nods and rubs her knee, tears flowing down her cheeks. I look at her knee to judge the damage I would soon be alleged to have caused.
Still staring at me, "lai... wo men hui..." ( come, let's go... )
in a series of quick movements, I get up and kneel down before the standing (still crying though) little girl. The mother is startled at seeing me at such close quarters. ( am I that scary ? hmm... ) Ambivalence; should she scream or hold her emotions in abeyance until something actually happens?
The little girl looks at me guiltily.
Without a word, I tie her shoelaces.
They edge away slowly, quietly.
I return to the bench and with a sigh stretch my legs forward, lean further back and gaze yearningly at the stars barely spotted at the blackness above...
~~~~~~~~
i am the wind.
i wander alone.
to where?
to what?
~~~~~~~~
simplicity to its fullest...
Saturday, August 16, 2003
this is what i have never felt for a loooong time
i shall not say a thing.
you know who you are.
you make me feel this way today.
let the blinking line keeps it's momentum going on.
i shall not care, for all i care is you.
it's that simple.
simplicity to its fullest...
short and sweet
In your eyes i lose myself
My name
My place
My yesterday
And My Day Hereafter
All sense of shape and form.
And through such vaguity
My love for you,
Mirrored in your eyes
And mine
Is the only constant.
i shall not say a thing.
you know who you are.
you make me feel this way today.
let the blinking line keeps it's momentum going on.
i shall not care, for all i care is you.
it's that simple.
simplicity to its fullest...
short and sweet
In your eyes i lose myself
My name
My place
My yesterday
And My Day Hereafter
All sense of shape and form.
And through such vaguity
My love for you,
Mirrored in your eyes
And mine
Is the only constant.
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