i'm sorry... but you have to try again

were the words i dread to hear, but i did
once again, i made a major blunder
causing a disappointment, way beyond my believes
i have made everyone successful, by failing myself

and if words were true,
words like... aim for the moon, even if you fall, you'll land among the stars
i have never believed in it
and i will never do

that's all for now.

i'm disappointed, and sorry, and disappointed, and sorry...

woah.. look at that...

the post on the right
the links on the left
so not used to it
but things do get better with time
anyway, i don't know why i am back doing this
guess i am pretty much bored with the "offs" and "leaves" granted by the SAF
yes, i am an AH BING GE -_-
botok liao
can feel the wind seh
now POP liao
thinking back, what army teach
nothing but all the vulgarities... sigh
all the other friends just went in
so no one left outside
fantastic people are working
then me -_- doing nothing
okay la, got things to do
but don't know why do , do , do
become do this...
so "human"
never mind...
now all i need to do is to focus on my driving...
it's been many many many lessons
and i still suck at it
sigh, nothing can cure my stupidity liao
good luck to myself, think no one cared
anyways, postings out next week
must note the link down here ns posting
that's about all.. for the rest of the week...
driving lessons...
vrooooooooooom... I WANT TO PASS IT... desperately... >.<

if nothing seems to be the cure, let time do its job...

The power of vision, discovering your future...



above, is a chinese character
the meaning not profound, i will tell you later
it's one word, i feel all should know
it's just that, everyone do not want to know

why is this word so important?
it's not like it will make you impotent
it's just that, be able to do what it suggest
you would be far superior, i guess

anyway, it's friday night
ops, or should i say saturday morning
and i just, am ready to sleep
thought a post before that, and also taking a peep

not peeping tom, no-no
but peeping at other people's blog, oh no!
people are enjoying their life alright
while i'm still trying to get my body right

i hope kg big bro had a enjoyable birthday
who knows, who planned it for his day
his girl, his family or his friend?
regardless of what, i wish him the best

his wish i hope can be fulfilled
that orange jersey, much bright bright feel
is one of my favourites, too
but it's hard to find one, toot toot toot

Singapore Democratic Party is fighting strong
Singapore Democratic Alliance also, fighting all day long
Worker's Party eats the humble pie
Suggesting that, they are the people, not scared to die

But as usual, confident smiles
but complacent they shall not be, People's Action Party heed a warning, mild
Walk overs after Walk overs
it will be exciting for a contest, even if it's still walk over

i did not get the chance to "x" this time
but the next, i hope i can
i wonder how painful is it, hmmm
to be "X"-ing on that paper, hmmm

maybe next time, you all can help me
Vote for me, Vote for me!
i promise you this and these
But you might have to shift to East Coast GRC

i can't promise you anything, yet
except a better living standard, and your pet, free visits to the vet
i promise minor issues to be resolved
like the cinema tickets pricing, that can't be solved

maybe build a swimming pool here and there
so you can be happy living there
as long as you happy, i happy
so why don't you, vote for me?

laughs

enough of this election craze,
everyone's talking about it, leaving me in a daze
but what to do, what to do
it's time to open your mouth, they say

finally got contest! finally can vote!
but what about those, that couldn't vote?
poor people have to be fined five bucks
see? another income for the gahmen, pops

then the long queues to claim your PP
i want to take money also hard
queue till leg suan, take twenty
freaking PAP, give so many

then i no have,
who help me?
why don't you,
VOTE FOR ME!

:)
yawn.
sign off.

whatever will be, will be

this guy here (don't doubt, it's me),
just reach home (no.)
decided to get on the world wide web (is it?)
and write his days off, sound bad (does it?).

just surfing around, (very free huh)
and saw this sinful thing. (it seems)



if indulgence in it, can cure what you're feeling (really...)
then i really, see no harm in turning it into a benefit (yup yup!)

if everything you have tried, (then?)
what i would suggest (what?)



head down there, and feel relax (huh? where?)
just a pity it ain't clear, come to me if you want the answer clear

if not, you have to keep guessing
i guess that can't be help (you serious?),
unless you reach me and prepare a song to sing (what?!)
haha, okay, i'm just kidding.

that place is the cheesecake cafe.

god, it's sunday (argh)
one of the "s" day (huh?)
trying to be sex (right.)
but sure it seems like the last day, afterwhich, is a monday

so how does monday looks like.
it looks like this.



so untidy. so messy.
so video tape, lai-ber-ri

don't get insulted.
it's my work place.
sigh. to think i have to head back there.

but thinking twice.
it's not that bad.
'cos i only get to stay,
till june the second.

but what the hell
they shift me there
trying to act cool
my silence does not mean me a fool

i don't care i don't know
everything seems so unknown
all i know, all i know
is that the rain has been falling, yes or no?

wondering why barcodes are plainly black and white...
sign off.

just another day, tomorrow as well?

before anything,
i thank the gods.
all religions except the hindi ones.
for blessing my beloved, all safe and sound.

yes and i was right,
Carol Cheong, art director, is going to an international fight.
She won the entire event,
just like man utd, which proves me wrong.


GE dates annouced,
much appalling to all.
but not very much to me,
'cos it falls on a saturday

the rest is up to you to think

so it's just work work work
everyday is a monday, till saturday and sunday
but even both of the "S" days comes,
they still feel like a monday

just a note to note here
for all april birthday girls and boys
happy birthday!
may the lord bless you

my army letter came too
also in a very much shocking way
the two month in advance notice is nothing but BS
mine came three months earlier

enough is enough
i don't know how to go on
no mood for stories
no mood for entries

just in the mood
to get you to chat
just in the mood
just want to forget, this and that.

if only things appear as simple as it seems...
sign off.

Like they say, Singaporeans "bo chup"

Hear me saying "Vote for the Opposition?"
yes.
i do hear kg shouting that.
and i followed up, "wah piang, if i can vote. Surely not PAP."

Yes la, the GE will most probably be in this month, if not the next.
much like me waiting for my army letter.
speaking of which, the gahmen now not very good leh,
i want enter early, they don't let.

what only.

Never mind that, it's personal.
More general, the GE.
PAP think it's good for their campaigns, 3 Rs
Retire, Refresh and Renew? i don't know

i only know Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Robinho,
maybe even more.
Yes la! World Cup 9th June!
Go Brazil Go! Go England Go!

But nice try there, PAP
Such tactical push through the media,
surely will capture singaporeans attention
and then somehow, the "X" falls on PAP

but i don't know leh
i can't vote
i am of no value to the gahmen now,
so i don't have my progress package.

those that are entitled, SIGN UP NOW.
then vote for the opposition,
heh
don't underestimate what the oppositions can do, okay.

While looking through the programme list for today and tomorrow,
i note down two programmes.
Firstly, SUPERBAND BIG JAM. Secondly, Miss Singapore Universe 2005.
okay, i omit the news. but it's still important, chey.

SUPERBAND BIG JAM, with 18 teams and 4 to go.
only 1 is an all female sqaudron.
tell me,
i never like jamming, am i girlish ?

oh god.

Speaking about imbalance,
maybe the all girls can go down and join the Miss Singapore Universe 2005.
You know, there's BETTING for who will win.
Beauty Pundits they call themselves.

So out of fun, i placed my bets.
guess what, looking through the pictures.
i decided to save my money.
haha, but yeah, just for fun, my pick.

Her odds? quite high.
Triple fold, even four times.
But as usual,
Singapore to take on the International Stage? 2010.

Carol Cheong, Art Director
(search for her picture yourself)
How about Man Utd vs Arsenal?
Arsenal to win.

so what are your picks?

i'll see you in your dreams, probably.

for a good start,




Your true color is Yellow!


What's Your True Color?

Brought to you by Tickle

yeah. that's it.
you can provide comments if you want to.
or at least, tell me your colour.
credits go to my buddy, carroty! a.k.a chin heng under links.

links has been updated.
as per requested.
as per not requested.
whatever, it's been changed. so yeah, that's it.

let's see.
sunday, there's a party going on.
or gathering.
don't know what you call it.

that's as far as i can think now.
haha. it's 12:24AM on my watch.
and it's still ticking.
seconds fly by, my eye lids shutting.

but! i still want to do this.
i want to continue.
i want to type something.
and of all things, i decided to attempt to re-enact a crime scene.

The Perfect Couples
[Chapter 3]



In front of Raffles Hall MRT station, a woman screamed.

It was four forty-four afternoon. The digital board announces four minutes.

A second woman turned her head to look, and she screamed too. The man beside her exclaimed,"Holy shit." Then, all ran for cover.

Something very bad was happening. The chain reaction of fear and confusion quickly cleared everyone. Everyone, except for three people.

One, was a fat indian man with dense sideburns, thinning hair, and a dark mustache. He was dressed in an ill-fitting brown shirt, khaki pants and slippers. On the ground, by his feet, was a medium-size suitcase.

Next to the fat man, was a chinese young woman, perhaps mid-twenties, attractive. Hair straight, down to her shoulders. She wore a short brown skirt and a white tank top.

That indian fat man and the young woman couldn't have looked any more different. At that moment, they were connected.

By a gun.

"IF you come any closer, I'll kill HER!" barked the fat indian man, with his thick Tamil accent. He jammed the cold barrel hard against her temple. "I swear, I'll shoot her dead. I'll do it. In a second. No problem."

The threat was directed at the third person remaining. A guy standing maybe ten steps away, maybe more. He was wearing khaki pants, white holiday shirt, like a very typical tourist from China. or maybe Malaysia? or Indonesia? even Thailand. Somebody that is trying very hard to be tourist anyway.

And then, he pulled a gun.

The Tourist took a step closer, his gun pointed at the forehead of the indian fat man with the mustache. Dead center, at the red dot, actually. The Tourist didn't seem to care that the young woman was there.

"No problem for me either," he said"

"I SAID STOP!" said the indian fat man. "Don't come any closer. Stay where you are!"

The Tourist ignored and took another step.

"I swear, i'll fucking kill her!"

"Oh no, you won't," said the Tourist calmly. "Because if you shoot her, i'll shoot you." He took another step.

"Think it through,i know you can't afford to lose what's in that suitcase. But is it worth your life?"

The indian fat man suddenly looked to be in great pain, thinking about what the Tourist had said. Or maybe not. Then a maniacal smile filled his face. He cocked his gun.

*tick

"Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," begged the young woman, trembling. Tears pouring from her eyes. She could not stand anymore.

"Shut up! and stand up!" the indian fat man yelled. "Shut the fucking hell up. I can't hear myself think!"

The Tourist's eyes locked on one thing: the indian man's finger.
He saw it twitched.
The indian fat man was going to shoot the girl, wasn't he?
That is just not acceptable.

"WOAH," the Tourist howled. "Take it easy, my man." He took a few steps back. Chuckled to himself, "No way i could be sure to get you and not the girl. I'm no sharpshooter."

"That's right." said the indian fat man, hugging the young woman even tighter with his fat right arm. "now, i'm in charge."

the Tourist nodded, "Hell, if you want, i'll lay my gun down on the ground, okay?"

The indian man stared hard. "YOU don't fucking tell me what to do!"

He paused, "put your gun on the ground. slowly."

The Tourist giggled,"of course, of course."

The Tourist began to lower his gan, and a gasp could be heard under a Starbacks umbrella nearby. A lady who'd run for cover but still had to watch the events unfold, like a drama serial.

Don't do it. Don't give up your gun. He's going to shoot and kill you! and her!

The Tourist bent down and placed the gun.

"See? Nice and easy." he said, "Now what?"

The indian fat man begain to laugh, the mustache bouncing up and down his nose. "What do i want to do?" he said. The laughing grew even louder.

Suddenly, he stopped laughing. His face went rigid. The man removed the gun from the side of the young woman's head and aimed it straight at the Tourist.

"die."

That's when he made his move.
The Tourist.

In the blink of on eye, fast, effective, efficient move, he reached up his pants, and pulled out a handgun from his shin. HE whipped his arm forward and fired. The crack! (commonly known as piang) echoing before anyone knew what had happened. Including the indian fat man.

The hole in his forehead was about the size of a twenty-cent coin, right through the red dot.

Bullseye.

For a moment, he froze like a statue, an overweight indian god. The lady screamed under the umbrella, the young woman fell to her knees.

Thud! the indian fat man collapse, blood oozing like a fountain.

The Tourist packed his guns, stood up and walked over to the suitcase. He picked it up and carried it to a black Mazda6 that was illegally parked on the street. The engine running.

"Have a nice day, ladies and gentlemen," he said to all those people who had been watcing him in stunned silence.

"You're a lucky girl," he salutes, then drove off.

with the suitcase.
_____________________________________________________________________

that's it.
any coincidences.
i wish you, the best of luck.
if not...

Zzzzzzzzzz...

sign off. *coughs coughs

How one longs for this moment, and the moment thereafter



This picture is searched via google.
yup.
Great search engine.

This almost perfect morning,
with the perfect women called in to me.
And she parrot me,
and yes, it was pretty much fun.

Then guys contacted me.
Told me, the letter came.
The end of their waiting drought.
but, where's mine?

i went online to check
they told me between june and november
i stared at the screen
and let out a yawn

how exciting my morning can be.
when everything started almost perfectly.
but, where's my breakfast?
damn, gotta get it on my own.

what a bother.

The Perfect Couples
[Chapter 2]

On the plane, she thought about him. Where moments ago, she's the luckiest girl in the world where he proposed to her.

To happily ever after.

She accepted, and the four carats, three stone ring design.

Next, no place on earth where she'd rather be.

It's show time.

An hour later, the plane touched down.

she had done well, so far. She put on the dazzling ring, which was at least six carats, a brilliant round stone, all set beautifully in platinum. It is simply amazing.

It looks like it belongs. she thought.

As she walked up to the oversize double doors of the mansion, reaching inside her purse for the key she'd been given when Jeffrey first hired her. The place is so big, he'd just let her in herself.

Sweet.

"Hello, is anyone in here? Mr. Jeffrey?" she called as she stepped inside. "Hellooooo?"

She called out again. This time she heard footsteps overhead.

"Oh look. if it isn't you." came a voice from atop.

"Were you expecting someone else?" she answered. "You'd better be not."

Jeffrey hurried down the many stairs. Then he swept her up in his arm, twirling her around as they kissed for a full minute. Letting her down, they kissed again.

"You're so beautiful!!!" he said, finally lowering her back to the floor.

She gave him a playul slap on the shoulders with her left hand. The ring sparkled under the light.

"I bet you say that to all the lovely ladies you met," she said.

"Oh no, just the gorgeous ones like you. God. I missed you."

They laughed and kissed again, passionately and deeply.

"So, how's your flight? Exhausted?" he asked.

"Good. How's the new book coming?"

"I've been thinking. No Da Vinci Code plot this time."

"You always say that, Mr. Jeffrey."

"It's always true."

Jeffrey was an international best selling author of adult fiction. He had fans, majoity of them women, numbering in millions. His writing and strong female characters was the attractiveness of his books.

Suddenly he swooped her up and threw her over his shoulders. She howled as he climbed the stairs. He was heading for the bedroom, but she grabbed a door knob and made him turn into his writing room. Her eyes, rather, fixed on his favourite chair.

"You always say you do your best work in it," she said. "Let's see about that."

He lowered her into the brown leather seat cushion and started the music. Love frequency, one of their many favourites.

As the singers voice begain to build up and engulf the room, she leaned back onto the cushion seat and lifted her legs. He removed her flip-flops, khaki pants, her panties, her favourite green cardigan while she reached down into his jeans.

"My handsome, brilliant husband," she whispered as she pulled down his pants.
___________________________________________________________________

I realised this is, soon, going nowhere.
i had to do something about it.
hmm. i thought.
nothing.

Enjoy your days ahead !
counting down, three two one...
love ya all...
love you most...

sign off.

Surprise! Don't we, all of us, love surprises...



Basically, nothing have changed since the previous post.
Everything, much flowed in a cyclical manner.
From breakfast, to lunch, to dinner.
To library, Back and Forth.

Till today, i'm still waiting.
For the one that worth the time.
And all the effort.
I just want to see her, again.

Surprises, are everywhere possible, it seems.
But there has to be people doing it.
And, in anycase,
If there is no one doing it, it can just be your luck.

And my luck? it suck.
Just got to be the massive reading that i have done.
Some chinese thing that goes, "du shu", gamble with your luck, and lose.
And i lost, pathetically.

In any case, i still believe.
That many occurrences, are much by chances.
And the many things that we do.
We must have faith.

God bless one and all of us.

______________________________________________________

just like any book,
this is for my beautiful,
the one and only.
Love, fish
______________________________________________________
The Perfect Couples.

[Chapter 1]

I was watching her. Like always. I leaned against the door of our bedroom. My hands inside the pockets of my shorts. I frowned. I hate the thought of us being apart.

I just stood in silence as she filled her suitcase, occasionally taking a sip of Ice Mountain, chilled, her favourite.

"Don't go."

She turned with a loving smile. "You know i have to. You know i hate this too."

"But i already miss you. Just say no. Don't go. To hell with them."

There was a short pause.

"You know i could tie you up and keep you from leaving," i said jokingly.

"That sounds like fun," she played along. She lifted her suitcase, as if searching for something.

"But first, help me find my light green cardigan? It's my favourite, you know."

"Do you mean the one that's in the cupboard?"

She laughed. "So you were dressing up in my clothes, weren't you?"

She headed for the cupboard, with white sliding doors. When she returned, a green cardigan in hand, I had smooth to the bed. I stared at her with a grin and a sparkle twinkle twinkle in my eye.

"Uh-oh, i know that look," she said.

"Huh? What look?"

as if.

"The look that say you want a leaving-present."

She thought for a moment before flashing a grin. She dropped the cardigan on a chair and walked up to me, purposefully just centimeters from my body.

She was wearing only her bra and panties.

"From me to you," she whispered in my ear, leaning in.

There wasn't much to unwrap, but i took my time anyway. Gently, i kisssed her neck, then her shoulders, tracing an imaginary line downward. Lingering at each part of her body. One hand stroking her body, the other reaching around to unwrap whatever's on top.

Cute, funny and very good in bed. What more could a girl ask for.

Then kisses to the stomach, around the belly button. Then, with a thumb resting on either side of her hips, he began to roll down her panties. Kiss after kiss after kiss.

"That's... very... nice...," she whispered.

The rest followed. For a few seconds, we stood still. Perfectly Naked. Gazing at each other.

God, what could be better than this?

Suddenly, she burst out in laughter. She gave me a shove, and I fell back onto the bed. A prodigious human sundial lying there.

She reached into her suitcase and removed a black Samuel & Kelvin belt, pulling it with both hands.

SNAP!

"Now, what was that about tying somebody up?" she asked.
______________________________________________________

*wink

No offence to anyone.
There should not be any coincidences at all.
If there is, you have a great life.
And boy, god is on your side.

and yes, this took me about 5 days, maybe more, for such a short prose.

:)

sign off.

it turns out that the one thing i believe in, starts with a capital "L"

A - You cause alot of trouble
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people
C - You definitely have a partier side in you, and arent shy
D - You have trouble trusting people
E - You are a very exciting person
F - Everyone loves you
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people
H - You are not judgmental
I - Love is something you deeply believe in
J - Cool
K - You like to try new things
L - You are always smiling and making others smile
M - Success comes easily to you
N - You have a very good physique and looks
O - You are very open-minded
P - You are very friendly and understanding
Q - You are a hypocrite
R - You are a social butterfly
S - You like your privacy
T - You have an attitude, a big one
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards
V - You like to work, but you always want a break
W - You are very broad minded
X - You never let people tell you what to do
Y - You can be quiet when you have something on ur mind
Z - (no idea what happened to it)

referring to the above list, here goes my name:

J - Cool
I - Love is something you deeply believe in
N - You have a very good physique and looks

Y - You can be quiet when you have something on ur mind
I - Love is something you deeply believe in

it's strange enough that my name suggests that i believe in love two times deep.
so what really happens to those people with name that has tons of i ?
like.. hmmm... i don't know... you tell me. :D

even this nickname of mine, contains i:

F - Everyone loves you
I - Love is something you deeply believe in
S - You like your privacy
H - You are not judgmental

today is just like any other day.

tata~

anyone craving for love and company? geez...

it's just not surprising

you know, i've been around blogs lately...
i've seen lives far more better than mine, really...
but like what i suggest,
it's just not surprising...

i won't go around telling...
how long after will i be posting...
no one really reads, i think
but i hope those that read, really do...

much has happen, much is waiting to happen...
i've made mistakes, and who doesn't...
i've had fun, and so do you...
now it's the time for me to think...

no work, lots of spare time...
not to spare, not to waste...
get a job, i was told...
but the damn letter is prohibiting me so

sometimes, i smile to myself,
alone in the busy streets...
what have i done...
and what i should have done...

but really, i thought...
all in all, i'm just waiting for the letter to come...
just like friends around me,
they too hate this kind of life...

but can't be help, really...
it's just another stage of one's life...
and when life goes on...
you seriously think how sucky it can be...

but i'm glad,
no matter how sucky things can get...
there's this angel beside...
with a tender kiss, sucky things becomes sticky...

so stop pondering how sad life is,
the thoughts of today when posting is slightly unorganised...
but how unorganised one can get,
it is always organised to the one that's posting...

*wink

beauty in the eyes of the beholder...

take care guys! :D