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take da initiative

How to get her to ask you out
By Jim Sulski

Jack is one of those guys who have a hard time with rejection. Problem was he had a mile-wide crush on Janet, a co-worker.

And although he knew Janet wasn't involved in a relationship, Jack was reluctant to ask her out. "It would be bad enough that she turned me down let alone have the whole office know that she turned me down," he said.

So Jack decided to shift to a different strategy: He would get Janet to ask him out.

First, in his casual conversations with Janet, he let her know that he had broken it off with his recent girlfriend. Next, he made it clear that his Saturday nights as of late were usually spent alone. Then, he started dropping hints about how much he loved Indian food, something he knew Janet also had a passion for.

"Finally, she took the bait," Jack says. "She asked if I'd like to have dinner with her at a new Indian restaurant in town."

The Vindaloo was excellent, the date went well, and the two continued seeing each other. No rejection for Jack.

With a bit of strategizing, it's not hard to get a woman to ask you out, say those guys that have done it.

"It's somewhat of a challenge because it goes against the grain of the dating game," says Bill, an accountant. "But if you give a woman the right signals, things can happen."

Here's how:

Send information down the pipeline

Just like high school, word still travels fast when someone has a crush on someone else. "I let a mutual friend on my volleyball team know that I thought Cindy, another player, was cute," Bill says. "And the next time we got together after a game, she sat next to me. That night, she suggested we go to dinner."

Make her jealous

The idea of competition can motivate some women to act. Try this: point out that someone you don't really care much for has asked you out. You normally wouldn't go out with this woman, but your social calendar has been fairly empty. Then, sit back and see what happens.

Point out a "void" in your life

Don't sound desperate but make it clear that because of job commitments, work, family, etc., your social calendar has been on the dry side lately.

For Rich, an ad salesman, it was suggesting to Lisa that he had "nowhere to go" on Super Bowl Sunday and, worse yet, no cable. "She suggested that I bring over a six pack to her place and we watch the game together," he says. "We were intimate by half time."

Joke about getting together and see what happens

"I told Mary that she would have to buy me dinner for helping her finish her report," says Brad, a corporate executive. "Surprisingly, she said she would."

At first, Brad thought the dinner date was platonic but soon realized that Mary found him attractive. "She's a wonderful woman and a very desirable woman," he says. "Now, I'm thinking about joking that she asks to marry me."

only one woman does it all...